No matter what…

Words fail me when I try to describe how wonderful this weekend was.  From my birthday celebration with friends to Jerad’s graduation from MSU with a degree in Computer Science/Programming to my parent’s 50th anniversary celebration at Patti’s to Mother’s Day…. God has been very good to me as the blessings have just kept falling all weekend long!

As Jerad’s name was called Saturday, my eyes filled with tears as my heart overflowed with love, pride, and memories of a young boy who so disliked school because he had so many obstacles to overcome.  I remember a freshman who didn’t know if he even wanted to finish high school.  I remember a sophomore who changed his mind and wanted to go to college.  I remember a junior/senior who challenged himself to read more to improve his skills for the ACT and college… Michael Creighton books were his usual choice.  I remember that same junior/senior barely cracking a book who pulled all A’s and B’s.  I remember pulling away from Elizabeth residential hall in Murray almost 4 years ago with a heart full of prayers for my 18thyear old son. 

Four years have passed.  Countless hours were spent in the library studying, researching and working on the computers.  Saturday’s graduation event was the culminating event of years of hard work,  thousands of dollars spent on his education, and many, many, many prayers from this mother’s heart to God’s waiting ears.

As I edited the grad pics yesterday morning to upload to facebook, my emotions ran high again as I reflected on how much I love that boy (and all my children)… uh-oh… the tears are back!  God has taught me so many things in this role he gave me called motherhood.  I’ve learned to trust him more with each challenge, out of necessity I’ve grown in my prayer life, and I’ve memorized verses to speak over my children.  Yet the greatest lesson he has taught me has been how much he loves me. 

Rachel has already gone out into this world to make her own way, Jerad is now heading that way, and Aaron is moving in that direction too quickly.  I know they will make some great decisions but will probably also make some poor choices that I’m won’t be happy about.  But nothing… I mean NOTHING – no choice, no lifestyle, no path taken will remove my love for them.  My heart may hurt for them or be hurt by them, I may even be disappointed at times- but I will always love them… just as God always loves me!

Through my role as a mother, I have come to catch a glimpse of God’s love for his children- all of us- believers and unbelievers alike.  No matter what we do or don’t do, whether we please him with our choices or bring him heartache, whether we believe in Him or deny his existence- he still loves us.  Nothing we can do will increase his love for us… nothing we do can diminish it either. 

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”  1 John 4:10

Rachel, Jerad, and Aaron- you will never understand the depth of my love for you… unless you have your own children.  Even then, you will never understand how great God’s love is for you… just as I can’t wrap my mind around that truth… but rest assured that no matter where you go or what you do, God will always love you even more than I do.  Amen!

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