I can’t imagine the distress he was in. He knew his purpose in leaving heaven. Yet I wonder if in his humanity he was a little like me and put off thinking about the event because it seemed so very far in the future. Nevertheless what was once years into his future had now come. In the course of a few short hours the nails of the cross would pierce his hands and he knew. He knew the betrayal soon to come, he knew the desertion of his friends to come, and he knew the pain to endure. Yet he also knew his Father’s plan was best. Even as he fell to the ground in the garden, he knew.
“’Abba, Father’, he said, ‘everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’”- Mark 14:36
What faith, courage, and strength are displayed in that last line! O, how I needed to read of Jesus’ garden prayers today! My heart has been so heavy because of a valley I’m walking through. Never in a million years would I have chosen this path but the choice was not mine. I’ve been on my knees and prostrate on the floor over and over, sometimes with tears, asking God to change the situation and asking for more faith and strength.
I struggle to describe how thoroughly God has stopped me in my tracks this morning with one verse as he answered my prayer. Just moments before picking up my Bible, I was pleading for help from my Savior. I even prayed the words- ‘Father, please hold me.’- like a little child who crawls up into their daddy’s lap to be held- that is what I asked for… that is what I now feel.
Through this verse God has reminded my heart that his plans are perfect. Jesus knew that already… even though I believe his human side would have loved another option, his God side knew the path he walked was necessary for the redemption of all mankind.
God, my heavy heart doesn’t understand why this path I walk is necessary. Nevertheless-
“Not what I will, but what you will.”
I’m trying, Lord. Trying to trust, walk on in faith, and leave the situation in your hands but I keep faltering. Help me, dear Jesus! Help me to leave it in your hands! Help me to have faith in your plan! Impart your divine wisdom into my head and heart to guide me. Help me to feel your loving embrace when I so desperately need it! Amen!